I Wonder

I awoke from my warm slumber yesterday morning with this boy by my side. I'm not sure why he entered my room this time. To be honest I don't even remember him coming in. Whatever the reason, he didn't feel the need to wake me when he arrived. Instead he crawled into his usual spot and safely fell back asleep. He doesn't do this as often as he used to. He is growing up. He is facing life head on, but on occasion he still needs to feel the safety of my wing. These kind of mornings are my favorite. Waking up with the fresh morning air streaming in the window carrying the song of the birds brings a smile to my face before my eyes ever even open. Waking up with this boy by my side in the later morning hours means it's a "stay home day". It means there will be less running around and more time spent together, and those are just my favorite no matter what it is we do. On this morning I stayed in bed a little longer than usual and I marveled at his face. Such a young, handsome little man who has so much ahead of him in life. I wondered if he knows how much I love him. I wondered if he knows how proud of him I am for doing hard things. He has been through some difficult times lately and he is adjusting to some changes, but he has handled them all so well. I admire his resilience, and most of all his happy innocence. His trust in JM and I is unwaivering and that makes me love him even more. Sometimes he just has faith in us. Sometimes he just gets through hard things because we tell him it's what's best for him and he doesn't question it. He knows that we will be by his side, and that provides courage enough for him to continue. I wonder if he knows how brave I think he is, and I wonder if he has any idea how much he teaches me. I wonder if he knows how much I love being his mother and how much I value hearing his tender voice call me mom. I thought I would write it here in case he needs to read it on a rainy day when he's feeling low because let's face it, no matter how old we become we still have days when we need to feel that safety and comfort of our mother's wing. In case he ever wonders where he fits in this family, I want him to know he fits right here. Right by our side. Right here bringing us happiness and peace because it's what he does best and I don't ever want him to wonder.